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- Login to your employers hr website so you can get that discount.
- Forget your password and get locked out of the account.
- Wait a day (its past business hours on the east coast)
- Call customer service to convince them no one is hijacking your paystubs so they will "unlock" your account.
- Login again and find the discount link.
- Go to Cingular website and find a phone and plan you like, go through the order process.
- Look through the one paper bill that you ever got from sprint to find out your account number (which is not at all in any way related to your phone number) so they can tranfer your old number to the new phone.
- Get stuck at the last step because it says it doesn't understand your address.
- Figure out, after over an hour of retyping the same address in different ways including spelling out the numbers - three three seven one twenty first street - that it just can't process the "/" in c/o YourName
- Retype as "in care of YourName"
- Choose rush delivery for an extra $14 dollars because you're worried that you'll be without a phone number for the weekend
- Complete the order process
- Get an email confirming your order and informing you that when you get your phone in the mail, you just call to switch the number, thereby eliminating the need for that $14 rush delivery you just paid for.
- Wait two days.
- Get another email saying that your order was cancelled due to you credit card # not being valid.
- Go onto your credit cards website to check the credit card balance.
- See that there are 12 $1.oo charges in the same 5 minutes from cingular.com on your card, in some kind of website tourettes effort to verify your card.
- Wait a day to see if it will be corrected.
- Attempt to log onto the credit card website again and find out that you are locked out of that account. Try calling customer service and wait on hold for an hour, get fed up and write a nasty note instead.
- Try to buy cat food and notice that you cant charge anything to the card either.
- Get an apologetic email from a weary customer service person saying she's very sorry about your bad service experience, but she's going to have to ask you to call another number.
- Call the number and verify that you are indeed who you say you are and that you did try to buy a phone through the cingular website.
- Convince the nice man that no, you didnt purchase something on the website that cost exactly $1.oo twelve times in the same five minutes.
- Repeat steps 1, 5, 6, and 10.
- Read the notice that says you can't transfer your old number, because that number has already been tranferred.
- Call cingular customer service.
- Explain to them that they need to cancel the first transfer, becasue the order was cancelled and you'd like to try again, dispite their best efforts to thwart you.
- Listen to the very bored sounding man tell you that theres nothing he can do because sprint has to cancel the transfer first.
- Call sprint, and listen to the very bored sounding lady tell you that theres nothing she can do because cingular has to cancel the request first.
- Call cingular again, and speak to someone who doesnt sound quite bored, though english is clearly not her first language, and wonder where in the world cingulars call centers are these days.
- Convince her to call a sprint representative so they can all discuss, and notice that she seems to have this number on speed dial.
- Wait while she's on hold for a half hour and decide that they are probably just sitting next to eachother somewhere in a windowless basement call center in a small malaysian city.
- Talk to both of them at the same time and try to explain that you are trying to cancel one order in order to process the other. Sprint assures you they have 'released the number' and cingular assures you they have 'cancelled the request' and you can order online again.
- You make the cingular lady stay on the line while you press the checkout button again, only to be given the same message about not being able to transfer the number
- Let the sprint lady say... "um... it may take 24 hours." and then have her explain that you can actually just get a new number and transfer it once you get the phone - thereby eliminating the need for steps 25-34.
- Tell the website you want a new number and press the checkout button.
- Get the confirmation email and breathe a sigh of relief.
- Wait four hours and get emails from two friends saying that they cant call you because your phones been shut off and are you dead or in trouble?
- Call sprint again and sound completly creepy to your coworkers because you are forced to talk to the automated lady with very clear voice prompts like "I am not satisfied" and "I'd like to speak to a representative."
- Talk to a representative who asks you lots of questions about who you are and what your mothers maiden name is and then tells you she does not know how to fix your problem.
- Get transfered to another representative, who asks you all the same questions.
- Have him "try" to get you a temporary account using your old phone number.
- Follow his instructions and wait "a few hours" "to see if it worked."
- Finally get a phone call, stating that your phone has been reconnected.
- Wait two days. (I am here)
- Get new phone in mail.
- Cancel that new number and transfer the old one.
- Shoot self in foot.
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